carnage

i ran over an earthworm this morning with hal's stroller. i stopped and went back to pick up the two pieces of its body and lay them to rest in the grass near the sidewalk.

later, when i saw one of those three-inch beetles on its back: red and black and giant pinchers opening and closing and legs reeling---i needed to nudge it over, back onto its legs, needed to atone for my earlier misdeed. i gave it a small push. but i didn't flip him, i squashed him. his legs went stiff mid-reel, his pinchers limp at his side.

i am a murderer.